#blessed

Entering 30s

 A lot of people asked me.. How do you feel when you turn 30? TBH, there is not much difference, except some body aching and also always feeling tired. Haha. 

I think if you ask what is the different between now and 10 years ago, all I can say is, I am STILL THE SAME but maybe richer and wiser. I am trying to keep the good element or behavior of a young person, for example, dare to dream and brave enough to take risks and fight for things that I think its right. 

Sometimes it is quite tiring when i fight for things that I think its right, but ended up I am wrong.. zzz especially my view on guys.. if not i wont have so many ex-es and ohs also. hahahhahaha 

But... THIS TIME I AM PRETTY SURE I AM RIGHT! HEHE. 

I really think we meet everyone in our life for a reason, we cross path for a reason. Haha. some made you a better person, some made you realize how amazing you are without them. 

By the way, just feel like sharing this, I am currently very stressful with my current job because i need to work even during weekends and public holiday. So, I think i wont be in my current state for long anymore. I am feeling really stressful and i sleep with my hands holding tight on a fist everynight. (especially sunday night) It shows how much pressure and stress I have right now. 

I know that this is unhealthy and not good for me in long term. So I think I should do something about it. But good news is I am going for holiday soon and I have good support system, aka my parents, family, friends and most importantly my boyfriend! :) (He is always there for me) 

OK la, talk to you all next time. 

Till then, 

Sharmaine

death to my twenties

​it was a great night indeed 

Thanks everyone for coming. Those that truly matter to me. Felt super loved and pampered. Thanks to those who helped out (physically and financially) during the event too, which includes my two brothers, my lovely parents, aunties, uncles, lovely friends and my bebieeee. 

On that day I realized everyone that were there really play big roles in my life 🤍 we don’t meet everyday but they are really important to me. 🥺 

one wasn’t there, she is far far away in the land of kangaroo. Nevermind. I’ll see her and my god-daughter soon. Hehe. Ahhh. Feeling super blessed and contented. 😶‍🌫️ 

 

Till then ❤️ 

MAID (Domestic Abuse)

 I just binged watch MAID on Netflix. It was.. quite good. It wasn't super exciting from beginning until the end, but somehow I think i can relate to whatever happen in the series. This is not something I am proud of and definitely not something that I wish that I can relate. So, why did I say I can relate huh? Hmmm. its story timeeee, go and prepare your popcorn. 

If i were watch this series 10 years ago, I would be like... DUMB OR WHAT? THE GUY IS SHIT & ABUSIVE, JUST LEAVE HIM... But sadly, I sort of understand why they stayed even their bf or husbands are crazy ass abusive motherfuckers. Around 6 years back, when I first met my ex, he was a nice guy & seemed to be super gentleman. Why did I say he is a nice guy, he's a guy that would prepare tissues  when you are washing your hands after using the toilet, hold your hair while you are vomiting after a clubbing night. (maybe i was young, i fall for that kinda random lil things) Oh well, things started off pretty well, he was lil controlling but I thought it was normal for your boyfriend to care about your whereabouts right. So, I didnt think anything was wrong during that time. 

So around half a year after we got tgt, i realized things changed a lil, he slowly showed the true color and his temper got worse. It started off not that bad, so it was just him tracking my phone and check on my locations, calling me names (b*tch/slut) for nothing & ask me to SNAPCHAT him what I am doing, so that i cant "FAKE" what i am doing in real time. Ok.. those are quite bad, not NOT THAT BAD... hahahha but then maybe it was love that made me compromise everything and listen to him all the time. Most importantly was to not trigger him, so tried my best to fulfil what he requested 

I guess those things that I've mentioned was not that bad because there is no REAL domestic abuse involved (although emotional abuse is also a type of domestic abuse). So, things got worse after I started working in a new company and have guy colleagues, I am sure until today he still thinks I slept with all of them, at least one of them. LOL, jokes. So, some physical things happen when my guy colleague texts me, even its discussing about work stuffs, he would go ALL CRAZY and punch and cupboard. It wasnt just a punch, it was non-stop kinda punches. In the show MAID, the husband punched the wall right beside her face and some one from shelter said somethign that really affects me was, "that time he punched the wall beside you, the next time your face will be the place that he punches" I really do think this is true and I cant believe no one tells me this is not right, because I am pretty sure a lot of young girls out there thought this is a normal thing that you boyfriend can do when he is angry. But, the truth is no, he shouldnt be doing that and it is definitely not an excuse even though he is angry or drunk. 

After that incident, whenever he is angry, he will walk into the toilet and punch the toilet door. and yes, he did broke one of my toilet door and i had to lie to my mum and say it was the mop that poke into my wooden door. 

TO BE CONTINUED....

I-N-S-P-I-R-A-S-I

 Yes, just randomly have the inspiration to write. Actually its because i bought a new laptop, so just want to test out the keyboard and make sure every key works. HAHHAHAHA. 

(Ignore the polaroid photo, I just found it from one of my file) 

I started working since Monday and I really think my new company is a fast moving company and I really look forward to work for them! It's been awhile since the last time i can spend freely in the company. Hahhaha. kidding. I mean it's not that bad and my team seems quite cool and nice (too soon to say, but i can feel it...) 

I know this blog only read by less than 10 people but they are really important people, so I will keep this blog alive for THEM! muahahaha. 

Okay. speaking of inspiration, I just finished Gossip Girl V2. It is actually not bad, it is not that mainstream (girls with long hair), the girl is actually bald. After watching that movie, I think it is scary (but exciting) if we have a gossip girl in our lives. "IT" will report whatever wrong doing / scandalous things that happen around us. Not too bad huh, but for those that are cheating (then too bad la) because there wont be any cheating cases anymore. I dont mind being the gossip girl. HEHEHEHEE. Damn random I know. But then, imagine somebody is spotted driving into someone else's house... LOL! Lagi best if it is married couples. HAHAHHAHA. I think i am a bit siao d... 

Ok.. back to work. bye 

Starting of something new

 Hi everyone, 

Normally when i say starting of something new, or a new chapter ahead, means I just broke up or just had a rough and stupid relationship. But it's different this time. Haha! I am starting a new job and tomorrow is my first day... Wish me luck? 

I have mixed feelings, excited yet nervous. I guess it is normal to feel that way after staying and getting comfortable in one company for almost 6 years. So now, it's time to move on and never look back. Airasia has given me a lot, like chances to travel WHENEVER i want, meeting new and nice people, learning how to deal with a lot of shits and of course dealing with stupid people. Oooops. Not stupid, just people that are hard to deal with. 

Just finished watching Gossip Girl 2021. It is surprisingly nice, although many of them said it is really bad compared to the first one. But who asked u to compare? why cant you just watch it and give the new people a chance. Oh well, everyone has their own POV anyways.... But I personally like it. HEHE, and Julien Calloway is my favourite character! How can someone look so good without any hair! I will have triple chin if I have her haircut. HAHHAHAA. 

I have orientation tomorrow morning for my new job. Actually the onboarding starts at 1pm, but they want us to wish GOOD MORNING or HELLO in our group chat in the morning to PROVE that we are awake. TBH, i don't believe in this kinda shit because I personally think you only do that if you DON'T HAVE TRUST on your employees. Ughh. But nevermind, maybe that's what the management or SOP from the company. Hopefully my team or my manager is not like this. I join the company to contribute what I've learned or to learn more on e-commerce, not to prove that I am doing something..... Ain't nobody got time for that. 

Oh yea, one more thing to update you guys, I've told my parents about my relationship already.. Maybe I should have another post about that huh. It's toooo long of a story.. and I think it deserves a post by itself. But all I can say is, it is not that bad at all. Phewwww. 

Okay, I think my post is toooo boring because full of words and words and words. Let's end this with my INTRODUCTION poster that I created for my new job:- 

Hope everyone stay safe and stay sane! Try to do something you love! 

You know you love me, XOXO, 

Sharmaine 

Career vs Personal life

 Hi guys, 

I think my readers only a few of you. But I love all of you a lot a lot because you all always stay tuned for my posts. (I hope, haha). Alright. I am starting my new job in less than a month time and I am nervous and excited at the same time. 

Before getting into my job and shit... the latest update:  I took my second jab today, its for the Covid Vaccine (need to mention its for covid because maybe 10 years later, when i read my blog again, i wont know what jab is that for, hahaha) 

(for myself to remember...I took a photo while i was shitting after the second dose) 

I wanted a nice photo at the photobooth, but i looked like a person that kena covid, not kena jabbed. LOL.. Damn geli. Oh well. its okay. i have this... 

Alright back to me switching job, I have a mixed feeling with switching my job. I am excited because I can't wait to start a new adventure and can't wait to learn! and of course, I am excited to meet new people as well! But the other side of me is so comfortable being in my comfort zone in my current job... sighhh. Problematic...we are never satisfied with where we are at. But.. I've already made the decision to pursue into a new adventure, i think i should just focus on the path that i've chosen. :) 

This is a short post because i dont have inspirasiiiii! ....ok. till then. Bais